The time we spent together still vividly colors my memories, from my earliest childhood to my student years. She was the warmest person I have ever known—strong and tenacious, yet so tender and fragile. A girl who had to grow up early, deprived of dreams, and raised without the warmth of her relatives, she believed she needed to be useful to be loved. Her untamed creativity blossomed into her role as the most skilled and capable housewife I have ever met.

She taught me my first words, guided my first steps, and instilled my first manners. Together, we baked my first cake.

Many times since her departure, I’ve imagined what she would say about my decisions and choices in life. Would she like who I’ve become? What would she think of me? Would she approve of how I’ve raised my children? How I’ve decorated my apartment? One thing is certain—she’d be disappointed that I don’t cook.

Recalling how much her approval meant to me underscores the importance of her acceptance. I remember the strength I felt when I thought she was proud of me. As I grow older, I increasingly recognise how profoundly she influenced me and how her challenging life inspired me to fight for the things I value.

In recent years, I’ve often pondered what I could teach her today, what I could share from my experiences. I lose myself in imagining our conversations, accompanied by the inevitable aroma of delicacies from her oven.

I would teach her not to be afraid. 

I would show her how to stop worrying.

I would encourage her to fend for herself.

To search.

To win.

To show her strength.

Not to bear burdens alone.

Most importantly, I would teach her how to accept her own imperfections and take joy in them, to shed shame and guilt.

I am approaching my fiftieth birthday, firmly believing that I would not be a woman I am today without her, feeling that her empowerment would empower each one of us.

It is a timeless reminder of the power and impact we all hold.

So here’s to empowering our grandmas, celebrating their wisdom, resilience, and unwavering love that continues to inspire us every day.

I miss you grandma.